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March 27, 2020

Uncharted Waters


Roughly twelve and a half years ago, I placed myself under my very own ‘stay at home’ order. I was a new mom of the most precious little girl...living in the city that never sleeps. A city that never seemed scarier to me than it did the day the hospital released us to go home. 

Home!? In a new house, in a new neighborhood where I literally knew not one.single.person. I trusted no one. Not only was I new to the mom-gig...but I was new to the germaphob-gig. Not that I was a t-totaller...but I definitely preferred every surface, every bottle, every everything to be completely sanitized...at.all.times. Being the daughter of the daycare-lady...the state guidelines for health and human services regarding birth to three years olds was ingrained in my brain. #mustfollowguidelines

Grocery stores? Carts? The absolute horror. I walked through the stores holding my tiny bundle of fragility, picking up one item at a time...that is, if she joined me. (Shopping took hours.) 
I was given the responsibility to keep this amazing little person safe, healthy, and germ-free…#holyshit 

Sidenote: Not many people in NYC make eye contact...ever. So when anyone did lock eyes with me- I was pretty sure they were a child predator- wanting to steal my baby. #totallynormalmomthought

Eventually, my germ-fears faded- somewhere around her first cold...but my preference of spending time with her versus literally any other activity did not. She was (and let's be clear, still is) my favorite human in the universe. Meet a friend for coffee or sit on the floor and watch Baby Einstein for the ten-thousandth time? Which episode? Because the one on the whales is really catchy. #babybaluga

Now here we are, truly under a real-life ‘stay at home’ order due to COVID-19...and I can’t help but feel a bit like I did the day I left the hospital 12.5 years ago. It is a scary world we live in today, folks. We are back to living in a world where we can trust no one and it is heartbreaking. Our little county is filled with locals and some non-residents all ordered to ‘stay at home’...and some are doing as such, but many are not. Many locals are ranting on social media about out of town license plates and families on vacation during a pandemic. I can’t say I haven’t thought similar thoughts- but I have chosen to keep those thoughts to myself because...let's be real with each other- posting on social media solves no one's problems.

In our household, things are different. Little Miss is learning how to maneuver an online-schooling platform. The hubs and I are learning how to juggle everyone home for lunch. And the dogs? They’re thrilled to have their little person with them all day. (Cats on the other hand- they’re pissed. Too much human interaction. They’ve filed formal complaints about nap/sunning interruptions.)

Aside from the stress of the unknown and obsessively watching the news, I have to admit- we’ve made some incredible family memories so far. When life gets tough- the simple things become the big things that keep us strong. The dog walks together- the giggles over silly things- mucking stalls- the hour of TV before we all fall asleep...those are the things that we will look back on and say “that...that got us through it.” #ihope

In a world of uncertainties- one thing has never been clearer to me. Our family bond is strong...and nothing tests that and makes us stronger like uncharted waters. There is a saying said often on our little island- A calm sea doesn’t make a skilled sailor. In this unknown sea that we are crossing together, I am so thankful for those on the boat with me. 

Hug your people...you know, the ones you live with. And wash your hands. Stay healthy, friends.


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