January 30, 2012

A Different Coffee Date

A few weeks after she passed away, I felt butterfly kisses on my cheek in the middle of the night. I knew it was her, my Mama Jennie. She was the most special person in my childhood...and I was the apple of her eye. We meant the world to each other.

I was in 5th grade and the only real death I'd experienced was when my horse passed away the year before. This was different though- as sad as I was, I knew Mama Jennie was her "old self" again up in heaven. I cried because I missed her, selfishly...but even at that young age, I knew she was happier looking down on us everyday, than she was in a nursing home, seeing us weekly. We joked that all her husbands were fighting over her when she arrived.

The butterfly kisses came nightly for a while- I told my mom that I knew it was her. They say children let spirits in easier than adults- who knows why, but I always believed it...and tried to keep my mind open so she'd always visit. 

This morning while making my coffee, I couldn't figure out where the smell of Oil of Olay, Oatmeal and chewing tobacco ("snuff") was coming from. The oddest combination of sweet smells, but where were they coming from? I smelled it everywhere I went. Then it hit me...Mama Jennie. I cried because I was so happy that I'd not been too busy to realize it was her. I cried because I was happy she wanted to come and check on me this morning...when I felt so terribly lonely. I cried because I missed smelling her, hugging her and being held by her. 

Then, I thanked her, dried my tears and smiled for the time we had together.

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