King Zorro

On Monday, we didn't say good-bye.

We didn't cry. {well...we tried not to.}

We ate raw bacon and told stories without words...we snuggled in bed in silence, letting our memories do the talking.

For 13 years, I have been a "we" with Zorro. While I have been attached to other 'we' companions, he has been my constant- my partner, my guardian, my best-friend, by my side through it all. 

We went to college together, moving several times. Our travels took us all over the East Coast- it never mattered where we lived, he was happy as long as he was with me. He was my first baby- he taught me how to love and nurture...he truly taught me how to be a mother.

When Little Miss arrived, I never worried how he would handle her. I knew he would protect her just as he had always protected me. Although he took the initial introduction of the baby blanket a bit rough, {he tore it to shreds} once he met her in person- it was love at first sniff. He would whine when she would cry- and sleep uncomfortably on the floor near her swing while she swung.

Up until a few weeks ago, Zorro never slept a night alone. He has always slept right next to me in bed, tucked neatly under the covers for the entire night. When he stopped following me to bed at night, I knew I was soon going to have to make a very difficult decision. I began praying every night for God to let Zorro know I would be okay and that it was time for him to go. But deep down, I knew that he wouldn't let go on his own. His loyalty has always been to be by my side and letting go just wasn't something he would do unless I helped him. I changed my nightly prayer- and asked for a sign that Zorro was ready.

On Monday morning, I got out of bed and Zorro, who was sleeping in the hallway next to my door, wouldn't pick his head up. He was awake, but just couldn't look at me. The sign was clear.

Saying the words out loud was the most difficult...I could get through the day if I didn't have to say it- say that I was about to lose my best friend. But I had to...and every time I would say it- I would lose it. {I'm so thankful for my work family. Mostly for them not judging my ugly-cry in the middle of our workday.}

So Monday afternoon, like I said...we snuggled, we ate raw bacon {well, he did} and we said "save me a spot up there!" because it's not good-bye. Good-bye's are final...and this isn't final. I know we will meet again someday. Until then, I know he is watching down over me each day, just like he always has.

Rest in Peace, my sweet boy...my King Zorro.

 

What a Wonderful Year

Yesterday was the last day of Little Miss's 2nd grade career. 

I can't...I just...can't. Where has time gone? Why is it that, as she gets older, time goes by faster? {and somehow I don't age a day, weird}

As I walked her down the hall to her classroom, we walked past the room she spent her kindergarden year in. It took me back to the first day I walked her into the elementary school. I had butterflies in my belly and tears running down my cheeks- she held her head high and was ready to start her school day.

We walked past her first grade classroom...and again, I went back in time to the memories in that particular classroom. The two teachers who will undoubtedly always hold a very special place in my heart.- they helped both Little Miss and I through many life changes in one short school year. They always seemed to know when I needed an extra, "She's doing fine...and so are you, Mom" or when Little Miss needed an extra hug at morning drop off.

This year, Little Miss started the school year upstairs- and midway through the year, moved to a new classroom in the new wing of the school. I remember the fear she had, at the beginning of the year, of falling up the stairs. {let's face it, she's her mother's child} Those fears have now faded.

As we rounded the corner and walked into her classroom, I became overwhelmed with emotion. {my baby is about to be a third grader} I kept it together while we gave her teacher our "thank you for rocking our 2nd grade experience" gift. Little Miss's teacher this year has also been so extremely special to us. We had our first experience with a bullying situation- and Little Miss so desperately did not want to be a tattle tale, so she held back telling anyone at school what was happening. When I told her teacher- she reacted immediately. It was so difficult to watch my little one be upset- and not be able to resolve the issue for her. To try to teach her how to resolve it on her own- without turning into a bully herself. Thanks to her teacher being 'on it' and her mommy-instincts kicking in too- within days, the situation was resolved and the girls were friends. {seriously, she worked some magic or voodoo or something} 

When I left Little Miss in her classroom, for her last day in second grade, I thought back to my second grade year. The field trips...the day my dad picked me up on my horse, Sham...the laughter....the last year before 'real' school stress began- it was a wonderful year. Both times I was able to experience the second grade...they were both such wonderful years.

The Lost Colony + Little Miss

On Valentine's Day, we celebrated my uncle's life- affectionately known as Big Gully, Capt Vern, Goat....On a day known for celebrating love...we celebrated our love for him by sharing stories from the book of his life.

The following week, Little Miss auditioned for The Lost Colony. She practiced a poem to recite in front of the director- a simple poem about bears that she said reminded her of Big Gully. My stomach was in knots for her...but she held her head high and wasn't nervous at all.

About 6 weeks later, we heard back from her audition. Unfortunately, the news wasn't what we wanted to hear. They encouraged her to audition again next year because she did a phenomenal job. Little Miss was devastated. (I'm talking- homegirl was ready to start a riot.)

A month went by- she would ask here and there when the play was starting. Followed by, "Mama- I don't think I can go watch it this year...I'm still so upset I didn't make it." I told her we didn't have to...but tried to encourage auditions again. 

A few weeks ago, I heard from the casting director again.

"Is Riya still interested in acting? We have a child who couldn't make the summer commitment and Riya was at the top of our list!"

I almost dropped the phone. I may have screamed in his ear. {stage mom status}

Little Miss was to the moon with excitement. She couldn't wait to get to her first rehearsal and find out all the details of the part she would play in the longest-running outdoor drama in the United States.

On the first day of rehearsals, we gathered in the backstage area of Waterside Theater. I told Little Miss stories from my childhood- from playing backstage to walking across the stage on my high school graduation day...she was too enthralled with her own experience to hear my tales.

"This year...we will be doing something a little different. Each year, our narrator is dressed in somewhat of a graduates outfit- and reads from a book to help the audience understand some of the details in the show," said the director.

"This year- our 'historian' will be more of a local looking guy. A man with a white beard, a fishing cap and boat shoes...an older fisherman-type," he said.

I felt Little Miss tug at my arm.

"It sounds just like Big Gully, Mama!" she said.

I couldn't help but fight back tears. I was thinking the exact same thing. 

"He will pull two children from the audience each night to help him explain the story," he explained.

"I hope I get that part!" Little Miss whispered.

"Riya...can you come up here to stand with our historian...you'll be spending a lot of time together this summer!" he said.

The tears streamed down my face as the other moms surely thought I had lost my mind. {overly proud stage mom?} 

Little Miss stood next to the historian, beaming from ear to ear.

As the sun set beautifully over the sound that my uncle fished in daily, I knew he had something to do with this moment. Not only did Big Gully help get Little Miss into The Lost Colony...he got himself a part, right beside her, too.