June 25, 2015

King Zorro

On Monday, we didn't say good-bye.

We didn't cry. {well...we tried not to.}

We ate raw bacon and told stories without words...we snuggled in bed in silence, letting our memories do the talking.

For 13 years, I have been a "we" with Zorro. While I have been attached to other 'we' companions, he has been my constant- my partner, my guardian, my best-friend, by my side through it all. 

We went to college together, moving several times. Our travels took us all over the East Coast- it never mattered where we lived, he was happy as long as he was with me. He was my first baby- he taught me how to love and nurture...he truly taught me how to be a mother.

When Little Miss arrived, I never worried how he would handle her. I knew he would protect her just as he had always protected me. Although he took the initial introduction of the baby blanket a bit rough, {he tore it to shreds} once he met her in person- it was love at first sniff. He would whine when she would cry- and sleep uncomfortably on the floor near her swing while she swung.

Up until a few weeks ago, Zorro never slept a night alone. He has always slept right next to me in bed, tucked neatly under the covers for the entire night. When he stopped following me to bed at night, I knew I was soon going to have to make a very difficult decision. I began praying every night for God to let Zorro know I would be okay and that it was time for him to go. But deep down, I knew that he wouldn't let go on his own. His loyalty has always been to be by my side and letting go just wasn't something he would do unless I helped him. I changed my nightly prayer- and asked for a sign that Zorro was ready.

On Monday morning, I got out of bed and Zorro, who was sleeping in the hallway next to my door, wouldn't pick his head up. He was awake, but just couldn't look at me. The sign was clear.

Saying the words out loud was the most difficult...I could get through the day if I didn't have to say it- say that I was about to lose my best friend. But I had to...and every time I would say it- I would lose it. {I'm so thankful for my work family. Mostly for them not judging my ugly-cry in the middle of our workday.}

So Monday afternoon, like I said...we snuggled, we ate raw bacon {well, he did} and we said "save me a spot up there!" because it's not good-bye. Good-bye's are final...and this isn't final. I know we will meet again someday. Until then, I know he is watching down over me each day, just like he always has.

Rest in Peace, my sweet boy...my King Zorro.


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