Ok my Mommy-readers (and Daddy-readers)- I would like you to chime in on this subject...
I'm a Mommy...have been for over 2 years now. My husband and I decided when we got pregnant with Little Miss that I would be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I'll admit, at first I thought, "How hard can it be? I'll be able to take care of Little Miss, cook all our meals and keep the house clean...and I'll have the whole day to get everything accomplished!" Hahaha, must've been all those prenatal vitamins that had me thinking like a complete wackjob.
Recently I've heard this statement more than I'd like to:
"You're a SAHM...so we can do *lunch/dinner/coffee/etc* whenever because you don't have a schedule, right?!"
Actually, I do have a schedule. My boss (the 2 year old) runs a pretty tight ship- she likes to eat about 10 minutes after she wakes up in the morning and she expects a hot meal. About 3-4 hours later she expects another hot meal...and right after that, she expects me to snuggle with her before she falls asleep for 1-3 hours. In that 1-3 hour window, techniqually I'm on break...but you know, child welfare tends to frown on leaving your sleeping 2 year old alone in your home. So sure, we can get together then- but you'll have to come to me. If that doesn't work for you, after I put her to bed (between 7 and 9pm) I techniqually go on break again until the following morning...unless of course, she wakes up and needs me to help her get back to sleep, needs her diaper changed, or needs more water in her sippy. And again- you'll have to come to me.
"But...I mean, can't your husband just watch her? Or your Mom? (If I'm in NC)"
Sure...but my husband works from home- and he tends to be a bit of a workaholic, God Bless him. My Mom? Of course she would love to watch her granddaughter any and all times I needed her to- but on top of working 40+hours a week, she also takes care of my 95 year old, great-aunt. I tell her constantly that she is doing too much- so why would I say that and then add one more thing onto her already-overflowing plate?
Friendships are supposed to be give and take relationships. Your real friends are supposed to be understanding of your obligations. I hate to think like this- but I think some of my friends would be much more understanding of my busy schedule if I had an out-of-the-house job. I mean, I certainly don't say "Well, you should just take off work tomorrow because tomorrow is the only day I have a babysitter..." So why would they expect the same treatment? It's a hurtful realization, really.
One of my favorite people told me a few days ago:
"I didn't know that to be a good friend you had to constantly be doing things for one another- I thought you just loved each other and spent time together when life allowed for it. You don't have to talk every day or see each other all the time to be close friends."
Maybe she is more understanding because she is a Mommy, too. Or maybe it's just because she's a real friend, someone who is there no matter what...no matter how few times I call her, how many times I'm a day late wishing her 'Happy Birthday' or how few times a year we actually get to physically visit with each other. (Love you, Cassie.)
So Mamas and Papas...have you ever encountered these issues? What are your thoughts?
I'm a Mommy...have been for over 2 years now. My husband and I decided when we got pregnant with Little Miss that I would be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I'll admit, at first I thought, "How hard can it be? I'll be able to take care of Little Miss, cook all our meals and keep the house clean...and I'll have the whole day to get everything accomplished!" Hahaha, must've been all those prenatal vitamins that had me thinking like a complete wackjob.
Recently I've heard this statement more than I'd like to:
"You're a SAHM...so we can do *lunch/dinner/coffee/etc* whenever because you don't have a schedule, right?!"
Actually, I do have a schedule. My boss (the 2 year old) runs a pretty tight ship- she likes to eat about 10 minutes after she wakes up in the morning and she expects a hot meal. About 3-4 hours later she expects another hot meal...and right after that, she expects me to snuggle with her before she falls asleep for 1-3 hours. In that 1-3 hour window, techniqually I'm on break...but you know, child welfare tends to frown on leaving your sleeping 2 year old alone in your home. So sure, we can get together then- but you'll have to come to me. If that doesn't work for you, after I put her to bed (between 7 and 9pm) I techniqually go on break again until the following morning...unless of course, she wakes up and needs me to help her get back to sleep, needs her diaper changed, or needs more water in her sippy. And again- you'll have to come to me.
"But...I mean, can't your husband just watch her? Or your Mom? (If I'm in NC)"
Sure...but my husband works from home- and he tends to be a bit of a workaholic, God Bless him. My Mom? Of course she would love to watch her granddaughter any and all times I needed her to- but on top of working 40+hours a week, she also takes care of my 95 year old, great-aunt. I tell her constantly that she is doing too much- so why would I say that and then add one more thing onto her already-overflowing plate?
Friendships are supposed to be give and take relationships. Your real friends are supposed to be understanding of your obligations. I hate to think like this- but I think some of my friends would be much more understanding of my busy schedule if I had an out-of-the-house job. I mean, I certainly don't say "Well, you should just take off work tomorrow because tomorrow is the only day I have a babysitter..." So why would they expect the same treatment? It's a hurtful realization, really.
One of my favorite people told me a few days ago:
"I didn't know that to be a good friend you had to constantly be doing things for one another- I thought you just loved each other and spent time together when life allowed for it. You don't have to talk every day or see each other all the time to be close friends."
Maybe she is more understanding because she is a Mommy, too. Or maybe it's just because she's a real friend, someone who is there no matter what...no matter how few times I call her, how many times I'm a day late wishing her 'Happy Birthday' or how few times a year we actually get to physically visit with each other. (Love you, Cassie.)
So Mamas and Papas...have you ever encountered these issues? What are your thoughts?