Negative Nines

Terrible Twos? Allow me to introduce you to the older, louder, more dramatic and demanding sister- Negative Nines.

I have, more than once, looked back on the memories of Little Miss and the Terrible Twos and thought 'Eh? Was it really that bad?' I mean, it was kind of like having a rare exotic animal in the house that may pee or throw something at you at any moment, but as far as legit arguing? Not so much.

But now? At 9? Homegirl can hold onto anger and draw out an argument like she is trying to win a match in a boxing ring. #goingforthegold But somehow, in the end...we both lose. I feel like a bad mom because I'm constantly correcting my child, who in turn, argues with every mother-loving word I say...and she? She feels like she can't do anything to suit me.

#passthewine

Afternoons start with the homework argument. I'm pretty sure our neighbors think we have a rabid honey-badger in the house at least half the time.

"Let's get your homework done, honey," I begin.

"I hate homework. I hate school...WHY ARE YOU PUNISHING ME!?!" she screams as she goes limp in her chair at the kitchen table.

"I don't hate you...you have to do homework so you'll grow up to be smart!" I say.

"I can't do it! Help me...I'm hungry. I don't know how to do this. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE. Ughhh!!"

I take a deep breath. I count to ten. Then twenty.

"Yes you can, just try..." I'm interrupted. {I hate being interrupted}

"School is stupid. Ugh," she says, rolling her eyes.

I walk away- deciding she has roughly 16 hours before she has to return to school with her homework complete. She should be able to figure it out in that amount of time, especially since I know she's just trying to push every button possible.

#jesustakethewheel

Then we have the dinner argument...I love food, all food, any kind of food. Little Miss eats about 5 things. She will go down with the ship if asked to eat something she doesn't like. I was at my whits end a few years ago and asked her pediatrician what to do.

"Don't make her something special- she has to learn to try things," she told me.

I tried it. She went to bed hungry. The next night? The previous hungry-evening didn't phase her, she pushed her plate away and said "I am not eating that. It doesn't smell like I will like it."

Seriously, she was ready to chain herself to the table in protest of my chicken chili. #tastebudrebel

Her determination is commendable. I just wish it was for like...world peace or cleaning her room.

Is there some kind of mommy group out there for parents of hormonal {god, we are already there, aren't we?} nine-agers?! If so, someone sign me up...because I know I'm not the only mom who takes a sip of wine some nights and thinks "Oh my god, my child, that I willingly brought into this world, is going to be the cause of my alcoholism!" #iaskedforthis

Life is a Lottery

The main topic of conversation just about everywhere in the country is the lottery. Have you bought a ticket? How did you pick your numbers? What will you do with your winnings? Can you believe how high the payout is? You name it, the questions are flying.

I'm guilty too. It's fun to dream about what one would do with that kind of cash. {Buy a Ranch.} Last night, while discussing our imaginary ranch- where the living room would open up into the aisle way of our 30 stall barn- we quickly moved from what we would buy to what we would give.

To our church. To our family. To our close friends. Even to our bosses. {job security}

Tonight, as I packed Little Miss's suitcase for a trip with her father, I heard about a fatal accident in a neighboring county. My heart sunk for the family involved. (This news made me snuggle Little Miss extra tight, as she wiggled away, not understanding my tears.) I thought about another friend who has an ill parent...several friends who are battling cancer...and how the lottery is the last thing on any of their minds. While money is as great bonus- it certainly can't buy happiness or healthiness.

When you look up the definition of the word lottery, the secondary definition states it is a process or thing whose success or outcome is governed by chance. Life is a lottery. Each day is a blessing, one that can be taken away in the blink of an eye. By chance, we wake up each day. By the grace of God we are able to get up, get dressed and go to work for the day...to come home, most of the time exhausted, to our loved ones. 

Life is the lottery we need to pay attention to and be truly grateful for. So tonight, as we all clinch our winning Powerball tickets- take a moment to be thankful for what you already have, because the things that money can't buy are what are the most valuable.

Male Brain vs. Female Brain

I truly believe the male and female brains operate very differently. Whoever wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus was definitely on to something.

I'm one of those rare humans who is almost never in a bad mood. It's just a waste of time- why dwell on a bad day? Who are you punishing? Yourself...that's who. So...when someone is grumpy I do my best to make them smile, laugh, relax, see the positive, etc. I'm an aggravating little ray of sunshine that will blind your gloomy day...seriously, ask my husband. When that doesn't work, especially with my husband, my brain instantly assumes that it's me. I've done something to upset him...otherwise why wouldn't my sunshine be accepted and enjoyable? #thenerve #whodoesntlovesunshine

"Are you mad at me, boo?"

"No, I'm just tired."

For about 35 seconds, I believe him. Then I decide that he's totally lying.

"Are you sure? Because if you were just tired- you wouldn't be in a bad mood...you would just be...still," I argue, you know, because it's what I do.

"Yes, honey...I'm just tired and enjoying the quiet," he looks at me like he was enjoying the quiet until junior prosecutor shined the blinding ray of sunshine in his eyes.

"Okay..." I say, still not believing him because even when I'm tired I'm not quiet. {Hell, I don't even sleep quietly #idoeverythingloud}

After about 15 minutes of quiet, I'm sure that he has noticed I'm pouting...but what is he doing? He is simply enjoying the quiet because he is tired from spending the previous three days building stalls for our horses. {for me} But in my erratic and irrational state {not bad mood, to be clear} I can't see that. I can only see that he is being quiet because he is clearly unhappy in life and may have stopped loving me all together.

{I might should mention that during this particular study...I was on my period. #auntfloisabitch}

A few days later, once my mind was clear and I had stopped eating fried everything with a side of hershey kisses, I laid my findings all out on the table.

"So...what your telling me is that when you are tired or in a bad mood- you just want to be left alone?" I asked, in an obvious this is ridiculous tone.

"Yes!! Exactly! And it's not because you did anything or because it's your fault...but when you ask me 8 million times, it quickly begins to be your fault," he replies.

See? Male Brain vs. Female Brain.

"I did not ask 8 million times....I asked 3 times...5 tops," I said, smiling and knowing it was about 7 times.

Not at all Politically Correct

{Not exactly G rated}

I have always avoided talking about money, religion or politics with friends and family. Those three topics will guarantee a heated debate and those that know me know I can argue with a wall- and that just generally pisses people off. I am opinionated and can be outspoken, so certain topics I shy away from.

With that said, in this particular post I'm not shying away from anything. After watching the last few Presidential debates (both elephant and donkey) I can't get past who our front-runners are. I know other people have to have kicked back and said "So...on the one side we have the reality TV guy...and on the other side we have the wife of a former President who got a blowy in the Oval."

{I know, all 5 of you that read my blog probably just unfriended me on Facebook.}

I'm not the only one who is thinking this, am I? Yes, I know that both candidates have done more than just what is mentioned above. But to me- those are the first things that come to mind. {pun accidentally intended} We will either end up with a man who fires everyone, or a woman who can't even stand up to her own husband. (But she'll stand beside him, apparently.) It makes me wonder how other countries will view us. Granted, in recent years I think they have kind of looked at us like we are a nation in a bad relationship...but we are still a respected nation, and rightly so.

News feeds were clogged with clips of The Donald speaking out on shutting down our borders and banning Muslims all-together. Initially, I wondered why he spoke so irrationally. {I mean, who else in history has hated an entire religion? I'm just saying- it started a world war.} Then it hit me- he always speaks without a filter. He isn't a politician by-trade...he's doesn't have the refined manner the others on the stage, on either side, have. However, by speaking irrationally he got free advertising. That is a business move, not necessarily a political move. He got the world talking- good or bad- about his campaign. #nopressisbadpress 

Then we have Hil...who is well-spoken and refined, totally politically correct. {Except for those emails and that time her husband got impeached.} She doesn't get flustered or speak irrationally, for the most part. She's a woman...which as gals go- I kind of have to be behind her a little and whisper "Girl Power!" and do air-high-fives, right? But...I can't high-five her because- do you guys have any clue what I would do if my husband did what ole Bubba did? I'm just saying- I can filet the hell out of a fish and Lorena Bobbitt wouldn't have a thing on me. #myknifegameistight {Except for that time I almost cut my finger off slicing a lemon}

There is a part of me that likes them both- and hates them both. I know that is impossible- you have to be red or blue. But I'm a Libra- we don't do that. We weigh our options and sometimes our best option is right down the middle. I want to be purple- the mixture of the two. I want the right to carry a gun in my purse, plus the right to have an abortion. {Maybe not all on the same day.} I am realistic- it doesn't make sense to me to take our right to bear arms away anymore than it makes sense to take away a woman's right to choose. 

Maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to have a non-politician in the White House. The politicians that have resided there the last 16 years haven't done the best job, in my opinion...and we had one of each! Or on the flip side...maybe a woman can tidy up the mess in there? Eh, not sure.

In the meantime...I'm still planning to vote for Fitz. {As long as I can be Liv...or Gabby- I could whip that press room into serious shape.}

Holly, Jolly, Holiday Season

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year...partly because our little community totally rocks out Christmas celebrations. Our local tree lighting downtown, complete with hot cocoa and Brunswick stew, starts out the season with a bang. The following day we all join together again to watch the Christmas parade...most of the time in flip flops. {Florida, we're gaining on you.}

One of our traditions is to put the tree up the day of the Christmas parade. A tradition that comes from my childhood. Every year we would attend the parade, sometimes visit the winter carnival at the elementary school, then scoot home to put up our tree...all while listening to Dolly Parton's Christmas Hits on cassette tape. When Little Miss was little, I continued the tradition but instead of the winter carnival, we usually shopped for a new ornament or five at The Christmas Shop. This year was the last year The Christmas Shop would be open- and since they began their closeout sale in November- I couldn't bear to see the bare {slight pun intended} walls. I wanted to remember it how it looked when I was little- and for Little Miss to remember it how it was when she was little. So we skipped it, knowing a new tradition would have to take it's place eventually, but not this year. This year we sat out ornament shopping all together in honor of the fun memories we shared at The Christmas Shop.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, we all enjoyed the silly visits from our Elf on the Shelf, Ruby. Her antics never cease to amaze us. {Except for that one night that she apparently got caught trying to fly back to the North Pole and had to remain in her original hiding spot...that was a perplexing morning- but we all made sure to stay quiet and get to bed early from there on out, to ensure that her magic wouldn't be seen.}

The night before Christmas, we baked cookies and went to Bub and Granddad's house for dinner. The turkey, the stuffing, the collards...{dear sweet baby jesus, the collards} it was all amazing. We were still full when I heard the stomping of tiny little seastar feet walking down the hall on Christmas morning.

"WAIT!!!" I said, dashing, prancing and dancing towards the living room. #reindeermoves

I stopped them just in time to get a picture of their faces as they ran passed us to check out their Santa stuff.

I, personally, think this was one of the best Christmas mornings yet. Thank you, little baby Jesus, for giving us a reason to celebrate with our family!

#HappilyEverSaunders

I remember the morning he asked me to marry him like it was yesterday. It was a warm and rainy Saturday morning in March. Our seastars were with their other parents and we were up early to head to the barn to feed our equine babies. I was looking forward to getting some barn time in because I had just started a new job at a law firm earlier that week.

I had no idea when he walked in the barn, where I was sitting on the feed bin, snuggling one of our horses, that he was about to ask me to be his wife. It couldn't have happened anymore perfectly. He literally had to lean over Lightning to kiss me and put the ring on my finger. 

We were so excited to share our news. And naturally, the first question(s) following 'Congratulations' was 'When are you setting a date? Or have you? Will it be a big wedding or small?' 

Over the next few months, we discussed plans...all while in the process of purchasing a home (where we could have our horses in our yard! #bestdreamcometrueever) and moving. We don't argue over much- but when it came to trying to plan a wedding without killing our life-budget? Instant tension. I have attended an insane amount of weddings and seen everything from high dollar to backyard throw-downs...and loved them all. We ultimately wanted the same thing- to live happily ever after, as a married couple. But how do we get there?

Our friends attempted to offer help, which ended up stressing me out more than anyone realized. While the suggestions were meant in a loving way, they became overwhelming. I didn't want a traditional wedding, but I wanted some key traditions.

"Let's just get married at the courthouse and have a reception somewhere" my then future-hubs told me.

"We can't do that...plus, I really want my dad to walk me down the aisle," I said.

We were very fortunate to have been offered to get married at our friend's gorgeous home- which did two things 1) cut costs way down #hugeblessing 2) made making reservations for a date much simpler.

"What if we just...have a surprise wedding? We could plan it as an engagement party...and get married."

"Let's do it."

The last week of August, we solidified our date for our surprise wedding. That's right, we planned an entire wedding in roughly 4 weeks and it couldn't have come together more perfectly.

A few weeks before our big day, I met with our amazing Pastor to discuss some details for our day. She was certain I was stopping by to announce that I was pregnant. #slowdown #wealreadyhave2 {I'm not pregnant.}

"No...but we are having a surprise wedding! And we want you to marry us!" I told her, excitedly.

"OHHHH!!!!! *squeal* OH!!! Your mom just recently shared her wedding story with me...your parents had a surprise wedding too!! How perfect!!" she said, squealing and rubbing her hands together with excitement.

As the days got closer to our "I Do" everything fell into place. We literally let Jesus take the wheel and trusted that everything would work out as it should. {Having faith is a powerful and beautiful thing}

The morning of September 26, 2015- I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I was so excited to see everyone's faces and share our happiness with them. (A few select people knew ahead of time, because lets face it, we needed help to pull it off. I am so grateful for each and every person who helped us and kept our secret safe!) The rain that had loomed over our weekly forecast seemed to have faded and the forecast for the evening looked cloudy but dry. Whew!! I walked towards the bedroom door and heard my name being yelped from the hallway.

"Eden, my face is itchy..." said our littlest seastar.

I really wish we could have taken a photo of my face seeing her face for the first time that morning. Bless her sweet little heart, she had a rash covering the entire left side of her body. Thankfully, her Mimi whisked her off to Urgent Care to get some meds for the rash that we still have no clue what was caused from.

#tradedrainforarash

As the day went on, I realized over and over again how fortunate we are. Our parents were there to help prepare and share in our day. Our closest friends were with us to get ready and help set up our decor...we had a dream venue- we had the best photog and wedding planner in the world- who count as family. I couldn't image the day going any better.

As our guests arrived, I stood on the balcony and watched their surprised and excited expressions as they read the "Welcome to Our Wedding" sign.

"I'm in jeans!"
"I saw her yesterday, she didn't tell me!"
"OH MY GOD!!!!!! *Squeal*"

My favorite moment of the day was walking down the aisle with my daddy, who had the proudest smile on his face, and locking eyes with the man who has made all my dreams come true, and noticing that same proud smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around our girls.

Our day was absolutely perfect. We said "I do" in front of our closest friends and family...and it was truly about joining our families. There was no stress. No worry of this friend or that family member not getting along- everyone joined us and celebrated our love for each other like one big family...because that is what we are. One, big, gigantic, sometimes dysfunctional, sometimes a little wild, loving, giving, wonderful family.

Photography: Mary Basnight Photography
Wedding Planning: Best Day Ever OBX