Katie's Firecracker

The barn Tristan (AKA: Whitey, 'Nilla Ice, etc.) is affiliated with the Corolla Wild Horse Association. There are lots of former beach babies at the barn and last week- a new duo was trailered over from the beach. Unfortunately, the mother of the duo was ill and passed away shortly after she arrived. But little Firecracker is adjusting pretty well. Meet the little guy...

 He likes to be scratched...

And give kisses....

Little Miss got to join in on the fun...with caution, of course.

KISSES!!

Quick...imitate the adorable itchy face!

 

Introducing....

Like I said in my previous post...you can never replace a horse. With each horse, the mold is broken- they all have their personality quirks and different ways of loving you....just as you do with them.

I knew deep in my heart months ago that I would have to let Broadway go. I found myself looking online at available horses for sale and thinking, wishing that I could go on trail rides with Broadway. I'd look through the ads, picture myself on a ride with my cowgirl friends...get frustrated and go to the barn to soak hooves or administer pain medication. I mourned Broadway so much while he was still alive and in pain, that when we said our goodbyes...it was healing in a way.

A few days after his passing, the cowgirl warriors started finding amazing horses for me to try. And when I say warriors, I mean they were sending ads from all over the damn place...horses that seemed so perfect. Even though I knew not to get too excited...not to get my hopes up b/c most people who sell horses are bat-shit-crazy (think backyard car dealer)...I couldn't help myself. I'd read each listing and picture myself on that horse- but now when I pictured myself on another horse, it was just excitement that I felt in the pit of my stomach- not dread or frustration like before.

Early in the morning, the day before I met my new horse...I received an email with a link to an ad on craigslist in the Lynchburg area. My best cowgirl warrior, my sistah, Danielle, said only "CALL THIS ONE ABOUT THE HEIGHT!!"

I wiped the sleep from my eyes and looked at the ad.

"It's a CREMELLO PAINT!? WITH BLUE EYES!?!" I said out loud.

I immediately texted the seller...and we texted literally all day long.

At 4:30am the next morning, I jumped out of bed and rushed out the door to hook up my horse trailer. I sweated gallons hooking it up, but the heat was the last thing on my mind. I felt like I did on Christmas morning when I got my first horse. The excitement was uncontainable.

I picked up Danielle and her daughter an hour and a half later and we began our almost 6 hour trip to test out the craigslist cremello. My nerves were all over the place- I was excited, nervous and terrified. I've bought horses and been totally burned by the sellers...I've done the crazy-horse-that-tried-to-kill-me thing. I just want sane...and well, pretty. My mom's words rang in my head, "Be picky...there is no hurry." 

We arrived at the barn at high noon...and 145 degrees. (OH! And one of my favorite parts to this story- my cousin lives like 5 minutes down the road from the barn! So she came with us!!)

So yes...high noon, hot as hell. We all introduce ourselves and I see him. He nuzzles my hand and I quietly tell my heart to be still. We walk down the mountain (ok, it's more like a small hill- but I'm a flatlander) to a small ring and I watch the owner ride him....then I ride him. The smile on my face widens. My heart is not listening to me tell it to be still. Not. At. All.

"Do you want to go out on a little trail ride?" the owner asks.

"YES!" Danielle's daughter and I answer at the same time.

The owner laughs and grabs an extra horse...and we ride off into the most gorgeous countryside I've ever seen. Rolling hills of clover...that I slowly cantered over on the horse that my heart was quite quickly falling in love with.

We arrived back to the barn and discussed the "biznas" part of the trip. The owner agreed that if after two weeks I'd found any issues with him, that I could return him for a full refund. I'd only known him a few hours and I already couldn't imagine what I'd do if I had to return him. I handed her a white envelope, Sopranos style, bubble wrapped my new baby...and off we went. Well...almost.

Meet Tristan, 5 y/o...clearly both him & I needed some purple shampoo to rinse the yeller'out. (His previous owner was so sad to see him go.)

I probably would've ridden him home if it wasn't 145 degrees out...not gonna lie. I was so thrilled...more thrilled than a child on Christmas. BUT- I had the looming vet visit hanging over me...and on the long drive home- the 'what ifs' played through my mind.

Thankfully, that was a big ole waste of time! The vet came out & said Tristan is a healthy boy! AND HE'S OFFICIALLY MINE!!!!

Tristan has many AKAs thus far: 

Vanilla Ice (are you singing the song now? Stop. Collaborate...)

Pretty Fly for a White Guy

The list goes on...but I don't want to offend white rappers whose name I may or may not call my horse. However, pretty much any white rapper joke that can be told, I tell him. On a daily basis. I mean...he's in a white rapper family- it's just unavoidable. Sometimes he jumps around...while I tell him jokes. (badumchi)

We've switched things around a little...and Tristan will be living at a boarding facility instead of at my parents. As strong as I try to be, there are too many 'horses from the past' memories there and I am ready to have a fresh start. I'm thrilled with my new boy...did I mention that?

I'm thrilled. ;-)

The Hardest Day In A Cowgirls Life

Not much phases cowgirls. They see it all. They feed early in the morning and late at night, they muck stalls and horse manure is the least thing that would make them turn their nose up. Cowgirls spend sleepless nights doctoring sick horses...or worrying about what they can do to 'fix' an injury.

Staying on a horse isn't what makes you a cowgirl- caring for your mount is what makes you a cowgirl. The hours spent in the barn out of the saddle...that is what makes you a cowgirl.

A cowgirls job isn't an easy one...but you'll rarely hear a complaint. There is only one moment in a cowgirls life that she'll admit is hard...and she will cry on that day. She won't hide her tears on that day because nothing else matters to her...on that day. The day she loses her horse.

On Monday, I had to say goodbye to Broadway. He had yet another abscess in his hoof and was no longer walking. He would lay in the pasture and grind his teeth from the pain. I laid in the sand with him as he shook. I watched and calmed him as he had the equivalent to a seizure...multiple times. 

I made the call to the vet to have him put down. The hardest decision in a cowgirls life. I felt like a failure. I worked so hard to get him healthy...to "save" him. My heart ached as I helplessly stroked his face. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't do what I promised I'd do for you, buddy...I'm sorry I couldn't make it better," I whispered to him, tears rolling down my face and onto his nose.

He lifted his head and placed his nose into my lap. He nuzzled me with his ears forward. At that moment a calmness came over me. I knew I was doing what I'd promised him- I was going to take the pain away from him. I wasn't going to selfishly keep him on Earth for me. He wasn't passing away in a pasture alone- from malnutrition and God knows what else. No, I decided a year and a half ago that wasn't going to happen. He spent his last year and a half here in a loving environment- with so much love from so many people.  He was going to pass peacefully...and I knew I'd done exactly what I'd promised.

After he was gone, I stayed in the pasture with his shell. His spirit was gone- but his body was waiting to be buried. The friend who kindly came to bury him with his tractor begged me to go inside.

"Please, Eden...you don't want to watch this now. Please go inside," he said.

"No, I'm not leaving him. I haven't left him for a year and a half and I'm not going now," I said.

He knew there was no use arguing. I watched his burial and the tears slowed. My dad stood with me- tears streamed down his face.

"This hurts so bad...it makes it- it makes you not want to start over with another one because of how this hurts," he said.

"No...no no. They give you enough love when they're with you- they fill your heart with so much love and joy that it carries over. It makes you strong enough to start over with another," I explained.

He nodded.

There will never be a replacement. There wasn't a replacement for Sham when I lost her at 9 years old- there wasn't a replacement for Brandy when I lost him at 16. There are wonderful memories and knowledge that carries over...things that you see in another horse that remind you of all the good from your previous love. But never a replacement. 

Broadway - I will miss your kind eye and sweet nature. I will miss the way you used to peep at me through the gate...just like Brandy did when I was little. I will miss the hours we spent together every day. Little Miss says you have wings now- so I don't have to worry that you're hurting anymore. She is so wise, isn't she? Thank you for all the joy you brought to me and my family. We will always miss you.

Dear Little Miss: Graduation

Dear Little Miss,

Tonight, you'll put on your white cap and gown. You'll stand up in front of a room full of (mostly) strangers and read a book, all by yourself. You'll walk across the stage and take your diploma from your teachers...and you'll graduate preschool.

I can't believe this day is already here. It really seems like just yesterday that I nervously called your preschool for the first time- shortly after we moved from Brooklyn to Kill Devil Hills. I was comforted by a very kind voice, who answered all my questions...and I knew this was the place for us- for you. I knew they would prepare you for kindergarten- but would hold you and hug you when you needed to be a baby, even just for a moment. That's exactly what we've seen over the last 3 years...love, kindness, teaching, and did I mention love?

I remember your first day- it wasn't the first day of the school year...which made it a little more difficult on us both. All the other kids knew each other, as did all the other parents- we were the new kids on the block. Your teachers held us both when we had tough mornings. As confident as you were at home, you were very shy and quiet at school. You refused to eat snack or even drink water with your classmates.

Your next year of preschool began with extreme excitement because...we could walk to school! You were welcomed by friends from your previous year of school. Some of the same anxieties were there for both of us- but the familiar faces, room and routine helped us hug and kiss goodbye. This year I saw you grow into your own little person more than ever before. You had your own little crew of friends to pal around with- but if I was around, you'd still rather hang with me. You began accomplishing morning table work with minimal help from me and your teachers. You had your first 'time out' in school this year- for throwing a dollhouse at a little girl who is now one of your good friends. 

This year, your first day of school was all excitement- and not just because we could walk to school. You were excited to learn. You were excited to see your friends- many of which you'd been in school with for the last few years- but some you'd met in other activities outside of school. You were excited to show me what you could do with your table work- and this time, you didn't need my help at all. You grabbed the paint brush and painted that big A like you'd been dreaming about it. You wrote your name on your own and moved on to the next table...with your best friend at your side.

This year I've watched you do so many firsts. We went on your first field trip to Disney On Ice and to the Norfolk Zoo. We had many play-dates in the afternoon with your friends...who (thankfully) have amazing moms who I now call my best friends. Your personality has flourished. You are secure in your own skin and the confidence you have behind a microphone is baffling to me. You have the most hilarious sense of humor...and a bit of a diva attitude. (Okay, so you make JLo look like Laura Ingells.)  You even decided who you plan to marry- and I am pretty sure you even have a few back ups, just in case.

Don't rush life, little one...you have so much to enjoy ahead of you. You're going to learn so many new things at your new school- and in time, you'll be just as comfortable there as you were at your preschool. Keep your strong will and don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something...you can do anything you put your mind to- and if you ever don't feel comfortable doing something, use that same strong will to say no.

You're my everything. I'm so proud of you every second of every day...but today- I'm overflowing with pride and joy.

I love you with all my heart.

-Mama

Tiny Dancer

Every Monday since the fall, Little Miss has joined the girls at Dare County Parks & Rec for dance practice. They have tapped and ballet'd and plea- um, well- you get the idea. Since the first day of practice this year, Little Miss has asked when- oh, when- will her dance recital be?! How much longer?

She was ready to jump up on the stage and dance her toes off. Stage fright? Pah-lease. 

Last year, her Bub stayed in the backstage area with her- but this year, Little Miss hung out with her girls and the backstage-mom all by herself. (This may not seem like a lot- but these little girls, with the help of the backstage mama/saint, have to change into a whole new outfit...and quickly.)

After lots of kisses were exchanged, I made my way out to the auditorium to find a seat. (Okay, I cried a little too.)

Raindrops are falling on my head!!

My little ballerina!

Next year, Little Miss has decided she'd like to learn some hiphop dance routines. She's ready for her official b-girl status. Yo yo yo...whaaad uuuup ;-)